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World Behind the Walls
For Ama!!!!
Band: Tokio Hotel
Pairing: Bill/Tom
Rating: G
Siblings. Brothers. Twins. Each one, a step closer together than the one before. Especially twins. In general, twins had a bond that most of the outside world simply couldn't understand. They had a connection that went beyond mere siblings and most twins in general had it. You know, finishing each others sentences, feeling each others pain, always knowing what the other wanted. But this...even made that sacred connection pale in comparison...and this...was so much more wrong. After all...what do you do when your identical also your soul mate?
This was something Bill fought with every day. A connection to pure and too strong that it was impossible to resist. He'd figured it out so early in his life, they both had. That they weren't merely the same face. They were each other. One soul torn apart between two bodies that melded perfectly. It was like he couldn't even breathe properly without Tom at his side because without Tom there, then he wasn't complete. It wasn't physical, not at first, but so much more. An understanding beyond even the simple spiritualization of love.
But they were brothers. They were twins. And they were in a world that could be cruel. Outside of their world, the world would not understand. Could not. Beyond Tom and Bill, there was nothing but them. And 'them' was wholly unforgiving. So their special bond became a gimmick. A joke. A fan's fantasy. A made up little publicity stunt. How else could they explain their oddities to a world that could never accept them?
"Bill..." The blonde jumped a little at the sound of the oh so familiar voice behind him. It was always so odd. Hearing Tom speak, but so normal. It was like hearing himself but not. Disconcerting, but perfect. "Come back to bed. We don't have to be up for another three hours? What are you doing up anyway?"
Turning around, he gave a small smile to his beloved twin and moved away from the window he'd been gazing out of. Strolling back to the bed, he climbed on with ease, crawling his way up to Tom and placing a chaste kiss on his lips. It was such an easy action. Like breathing. "Mmm...thinking," he mused. Shifting his weight, his brought his arms up around Tom's neck and let himself fall sideways until he was on his side, pulling down beside him.
A slow smile crawled over familiar lips as Tom's chuckle filled the silent room. "Thinking? At...", a glance at the clock, glaring red letters reading 4:38. "Damn Bill...It's not even five yet? How long have you been up?"
Bill watched as Tom's smile faded into a look of worry. Leaning up he kissed him again, one of reassurance. "It's nothing, Tomi. Just thinking. You don't have to worry." Laying back, he smiled up at him, his fingers shifting to play with strands of dark hair. "It's not important. It won't change anything."
Tom watched him a moment and Bill could swear he could see the gears turning in a sleepy head. But Tom was his brother, his twin,...his soul mate. He couldn't keep anything from him. Ever. So it wasn't long before that small glint came to his eyes, understanding hiding there. "Billa...don't. Don't do that. I know what you're thinking."
Just like that, it was like a switch flipped inside him. Yanking Tom down, he buried his face in Tom's shoulder hiding the fact that tears were gathering on his lashes. He was sure Tom could feel them, but his brother stayed quiet. "It's a joke! They think it's a joke! The greatest thing to ever happen to me and they think we're kidding every time we tell them!" he shouted against warm skin. He pressed closer whimpering. "If they think it's real we're sick but the other option is pretending I don't have you. Pretending that I have to care about someone else. Waiting for someone that I already have!! I hate it."
"I know Billa. I know," was whispered. He felt Tom's arms tighten around him as their bodies shifted closer, like magnets. A soft was placed in his hair and he relaxed. Tom was magic to him after all. "I know it's hard. But what goes on out there doesn't matter. Out there we're the rockstars. It's work. It's all flash. Behind these walls is the only thing that matters. In here is the real world. OUR world. In here we are Bill and Tom. Soul mates. In here we are complete. I promise Billa. Not a thing out there matters. It's just work."
Bill sniffled a little, pulling back to look up at his brother. "I love you Tomi. More than anything...promise. Promise nothing out there will ever ruin this? Please?" His voice was weak...desperate.
"I promise." The words were so soft Bill nearly missed them. Just the whisper of a breath, but everything in him suddenly felt lighter and he was pushing up to kiss Tom as lovingly as he could. All his love, desire, fear, desperation...all of it poured out of him in that single kiss. It was matched eagerly, Tom's own feelings rushing into him like a wave. This was the truth of them. This was how they were meant to be. Forever.
Breaking the kiss, he panted heavily as he pressed his forehead to Tom's, clinging to him for a moment more before relaxing. He was suddenly so tired, like he hadn't slept in months. Snuggling down in his brother's arms, he felt sleep dragging at his mind, his tears drying on his lashes. But as he fell asleep, he could swear he'd heard Tom whisper one more thing. "We will always be together...forever..."


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